The Glory Days

Sometime in the middle of the night I woke to my dark room. I rolled over in my bed and tried to go back to sleep, but I had no such luck. I looked at the alarm clock and it read 5:17. I rolled out of bed like a beached whale trying to get back into the ocean, and clutched my sore back like an old woman, each step to the bathroom causing more and more pain.
I start physical therapy for my back today. I'm 27, and it really limits my activity. I don't know if it's something thats always been there from, a fall, or too many hours sitting on a plane pinched a nerve or if it's my back over compensating for my giant pregnant tummy, if I've put too much weight on too fast with this pregnancy and my joints just cant handle it since I am now an old woman of 27, or if lifting my now 1 year old son and crawling around on the floor is just too much for me, but whatever it.... I don't like it.

This is a picture of my son and I taken on Saturday, April 23. As you can see, my face is looking a little "thicker" and that arm hasn't seen the gym for a while. If the camera panned a little lower you would see a watermelon sized tummy, and hips that are proportionate to those giant knockers my son is resting his arm on.

The hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life was go from this:

To this:

And just for the record, I was already 2 months pregnant here.
It took me from October 2008 to September to lose 128 pounds. It took hours at the gym EVERY DAY, it took self contol from eating things I wanted but I knew weren't good for me. It took planning, and mental pep talks, and encouragement, and money (mostly to buy new clothes, but healthy foods are more expensive that fatty foods) and knowlege on how understanding how our bodies work, and nutrition. It consumed me 24 hours a day, constantly being on guard against laziness, snacking, and self sabbatoge.
Glen Beck used to be an alcoholic and obese. He kicked his drinking habit and has been sober now for several years. He also lost weight as he felt going from a radio show to a TV show, his TV career would never take off if he was fat. He said that he is exceptionally proud of over coming his alcoholism, but he way much more proud of over coming his obesity as that was way more difficult.

Now here, I am... 24 weeks into my second pregnancy, watching the scale go up instead of down, feeling familliar aches and pains from when I was overweight, and scared that maybe this time... I wont be able to do it. What if this time I cant lose the weight, and Paul wont find me attractive anymore? I won't have the energy to do all the fun things we like to do. I wont have the energy to play with my children. People will see me and judge me before knowing me because I am overweight. What if I pass my bad habbits down to my kids and they become overweight?
I can't go back there, and I refuse to. I like being pretty. I like turning heads. I like having energy, and being able to wear what I want, and shop where I want. I'm tired of looking at old pictures of me like this one:

 And thinking, I wish I still looked like that. I wish I still had those long slender legs, and that tiny waist.

I  wish I wish I wish....

I want to hear some of your stories... what is the hardest thing you have ever done? How did you accomplish it? Inspire me! Motivate me! Give me the hope to say "I did it once... I can do it again!"