Ugh... My Aching Back

As I have previously stated in my Post of Isaac's Birth Story, people say you forget all about the pain of childbirth once you hold that precious little bundle in your arms. That is a dirty, ugly, vicious lie. I remember it all... it makes the pain WORTH it, you don't forget it... here is what you do forget about... well I did anyway.
The morning sickness, the swollen ankles, the sore back, the constipation, the tiredness, the intolerance for... well everything, but especially stupid people, and anyone who doesn't agree with you, the ice cream cravings, the hot dog cravings, and the nights of little or no sleep.
I had completely forgotten about that. If I had been talking to anyone about my pregnancy with Isaac I would have said "Except for the seven weeks of bedrest, I had the perfect pregnancy!"

I don't know if I've just forgotten the pain, or if this one is worse, but as much as I can remember of the last one... this one is worse.
The last few nights (granted I have been packing up my apartment and lifting heavy boxes, etc) my back has been in so much excruciating pain that I can hardly walk. I'm literally in tears trying to get from one room to the next.
That said... Here are two pictures to compare:

27 Weeks pregnant with Isaac

26 Weeks pregnant with Aria

It might be a little bit difficult to tell with these pictures that my baby bump is about 5 inches bigger this time around than it was with Isaac. I was still wearing size 12 non maternity jeans in the picture with Isaac... so being so much bigger, and about 40 pounds heavier, I can see why I am having back problems... The problem with my back goes much further than just the pain in my back though....

I feel like a terrible mother to Isaac right now. I physically can't get down on the floor to play with him, and when I do... I REALLY pay for it later. I can't pick him up easily... or hold him while walking around, or chase him around, and it just kills me inside to have to say "I'm sorry Isaac, mommy can't pick you up." or "Mommy needs to rest." He just looks so crushed like "Don't you love me?? Don't you want to play with me??"

I really thought I would be a better mother than I am. I really hoped that all the nights of crying myself to sleep because I was this worthless barren woman would turn me into a mother who went all out for her kids, no matter the sacrifice, and no pain was too large to keep me from having fun with my kids...

I want to be that mom that is a lot of fun, that makes the best lunches, that all their friends want to come hang at our house because I make it cool... probably just saying that makes me a bit of a loser, but I can't help it... I need to change this pattern, but I need to do something about my back....all my back pain went away immediately after I had Isaac... but I don't want to have to wait three months for Aria to be here before I can be a good mom again... because by that time I will have another baby that will take all my attention... My poor little Isaac... he really got the short stick... The first year of his life was spent without his dad here, and the second nine months of his life was spent with a pregnant mother who is also a student, who just cant seem to stretch my time and my strength and energy to do much more than sit with him and read him books.... the rest of his life will be spent as the middle child with all the attention going to the baby... He deserves a way better life that this.